Masterpiece of Horror Theatre- The Mummy (2017)

 On to the first proper review for this year.... and oh, God, I have to actually go into the history of this, aren't I? I'll make it quick. I find corporate bullshit like this far less interesting to write about. 

   So, as many of you know, Boris Karloff's The Mummy spawned a reboot in 1999, starring Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz. It was an action adventure film rather than a straight forward horror film, but it was successful enough to spawn two sequels and a number of spin-offs. However, as it gradually lost steam, Universal decided that a reboot was necessary, cancelling a fourth film with Fraser. They announced the reboot in 2012, and following the example of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, it was decided that it would be the centerpiece of a new "Cinematic Universe". After cycling through writers and directors, eventually, hack screenwriter Alex Kurtzmann (whose credits read like a cinematic rap sheet) was tapped to lead the "Dark Universe" and eventually to direct the new Mummy. However, he would be one of many screenwriters, including frequent partner and fellow hack Robert Orci and (of all people) David Koepp, writer of Jurassic Park, Spider-Man,... Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit,.... Mortdecai.... Anyway, Tom Cruise was cast, and by most accounts, took over production, controlled every part of it, and basically made himself the bigger star over the titular mummy (played by Algerian French actress Sofia Boutella, cast after her star turning role in Kingsman.) The film was a gigantic flop, and brought the end to the nascent "Dark Universe". The next film, a remake of The Invisible Man, was unconnected to the Dark Universe, perhaps for the better. 

    So, in this film about ancient Egypt, we start in England. During the 13th Century. During a funeral for a crusader. Then to modern day London where Dr. Jekyll (Russell Crowe, and yes, it means exactly what you think it means) digs up the corpse. What has to do with the rest of the film, I'm not sure, but then we get the story of Princess Ahmanet (Sofia Boutella), her bloodlust on her way to power, her deal with the God of "Death" Set (Set was actually the god of deserts, Osiris was the god of death. How do you screw up such a basic piece of research?) and how she was mummified alive and transported to Iraq. There, her tomb is uncovered by Nick Morton (Tom Cruise) and Chris Vail (Jake Johnson, whose presence is extremely distracting), a pair of ... I'm actually not entirely sure, deserters? special ops?... anyway, they report it to their commanding officer (Courtney B. Vance) and by extension, archeologist Jennifer Halsey (Annabelle Wallis). They excauvate the ruins, and unleash the titular mummy, who decides to... again, not clear on this, but apparently it motivates her to unleash supernatural wackiness upon the world. 

   Good stuff, good stuff.... Sofia Boutella is always a compelling presence, and for the limited role she's given here, she does the very best she can (you want a good performance, watch the first Kingsman or Atomic Blonde for that). Tom Cruise is... Tom Cruise, for good or ill. Russell Crowe is mildly entertaining, since he's just decided to go hammy with the role. 

    This was very badly written, for the first really glaringly awful thing. The plot changes at least three times over the course of the film, and even then, it's really hard to tell what's going on. Why any of this is happening, what any of it signifies, and why should the audience care. I was baffled throughout this film, wondering what the hell was going on. The motivations of the titular Mummy are the biggest flaw, in that she doesn't have any. Her original plan was laid out and foiled in the opening, so her resurrection makes little sense, and she has no reason to do anything. Why does she conjure this supernatural menace? What's her endgoal? The ending is terrible, too, especially its non-climax and bizarre resolution that doesn't explain anything. I suppose it was meant to set up the "Dark Universe", but it was poorly done. As was the SHIELD counterpart Prodigium, which was deeply uninteresting and puts the film's pacing to a stonecold halt. As an intro to the "Dark Universe", it's really bad, and makes you actively avoid any future installments if they're this blatantly commericial. It also has terrible special effects combined with terrible cinematography. The result is a blur of action just vomited onto the screen, especially the action scenes, which are incomprehensible. 

    This was bad. Really, really bad. Bad in a distinctly uninteresting, completely predictable kind of way. There's no ironic enjoyment or unintentional fun. It's really dull and boring when it doesn't actively insult your intelligence. Frankly, you're better off watching the recent Invisible Man remake over this, since that worked on a individual level. This should probably be only seen as an example of how not to make a cinematic universe. (well, this and the DCEU.)

    Onto stuff I actually have interest in, we return to Larry Cohen next time with Because God Told Me To.

Summer of Terror- The Universal Monsters: The Mummy

           Mummification in ancient Egyptian culture is believed to started in the years prior to the rule of the pharaoahs, and became an integral part of their funeral practices , as detailed in the funerary texts collectively called the "Egyptian Book of the Dead." It was believed that proper mummification (with the preservation of skin and removal of organs) would allow the ka or lifeforce of a person to travel to the afterlife. The Egyptians would have different funeral practices for different classes, with the pharoahs having the most elaborate and ornate. Egyptian mummies would become something of a craze during the early 19th Century, after Napoleon's invasion of Egypt, with mummies becoming something of a collector's item, and the luxuries of the tombs plundered for European consumption, shown at parties, cut up, and examined by the curious. As a result, mummies and the idea of their resurrection would become a fictional theme. Writers like Edgar Allan Poe, H. Rider Haggard, Arthur Conan Doyle and even Louise May Alcott would explore the idea in a more romantic or satirical way. The allure of the mummy faded as the tombs were excavated and the appeal wore off. That is until 1922, when British archaeologist Howard Carter uncovered the untouched tomb of minor pharaoh Tutankhamun, still with its riches, which revived the Ancient Egypt craze. Among those inspired by the find (and the subsequent overhyped "curse" associated with it) was Universal producer Carl Laemmle, Jr. who wanted to make a mummy the next monster to scare audiences. With that in mind, he sent Richard Schayer to find a good mummy book to make into a film. When he couldn't find one, he and cartoonist Nina Wilcox Putnam instead wrote a treatment based on 18th century Italian occultist  Alessandro Cagliostro.  Impressed, Laemmle had John L. Balderston write a script. Balderston had a fascination with Egypt, and had in fact covered the story of Tutankhamun's tomb as a journalist, so he modified the script, renaming the lead Imohotep (after an historical architect and cult figure) and setting the action in Egypt. Karl Freund, the de facto director of Dracula, directed this as his first American feature, and Boris Karloff, now a superstar thanks to Frankenstein, assumed the lead of Imhotep. Jack P. Pierce once again does Karloff's make-up as the resurrected mummy (though the iconic make-up only appears in the opening), and Karloff found it extremely difficult to deal with. Freund and romantic lead Zita Johann didn't get along during the feature. Much like the other films prior, the film was cut up, especially a long historical segment.  Released on December 22nd, 1932, The Mummy would become another critical and financial hit, prompting more sequel. 

      In 1921, British archaeologists Joseph Whemple (Arthur Byron) , Dr. Muller (Edward Van Sloan), and Ralph Norton  (Bramwell Fletcher) uncover the tomb of Imhotep (Boris Karloff) in an Egyptian dig. They note some irregularities with the mummy, indicating he was buried alive. Sure enough, Norton is late one night to find Imhotep very alive in his bandages, scarring him. 10 years later, Whemple's son Frank (David Manners) and Professor Pearson (Leonard Mudie) met a mysterious man named Ardeth Bey in Egypt, who gives them mysterious instructions about the tomb of Princess Anck-su-namun....

    First, the best thing about this film is still Boris Karloff. Unlike the very emotionally charged Frankenstein, he manages to exude quiet menace and presence in the film. The way he walks, speaks, and acts manages to be terrifying with every step. His performance is definitely the strongest, and he really sells the villain. The set design (especially the recreation of ancient Egyptian tombs) is very well done, and Jack P. Pierce's make-up is exquisite.

     The story is a little thin. Seemingly starting as just the fact that this maleviolent ancient Egyptian is back, the film just sort of becomes about said Egyptian trying to resurrect his long lost love. It's not even the focus, it's just the lack of attention given to it. Again, this film isn't very long, but the way the relatively thin story is stretched out makes it feel longer. Not helped is very clear edits, and cuts, which makes the pacing even more disjointed. This also makes the film more than a little dull at times. 

    Overall, much weaker than the previous films. Still, Karloff's performance and the great effects are enough to give this a relatively high recommendation. Probably not one I'd revisit though (except for the sequels most likely. 

    Next up, a film which had a pretty good remake this year, The Invisible Man.